DEAR ABBY: My husband and I personal a apartment in a constructing with 22 items. Due to COVID-19, one of many HOA board members has posted indicators stating “guidelines” all through the constructing. The foundations are typical for these making an attempt instances, however the variety of indicators is obsessive. Lots of the residents dislike the indicators, however my husband was the one who wrote a nasty letter to the HOA about what number of are posted.
The board member who was answerable for posting the indicators was a buddy of mine. Her emotions have been damage, and he or she has made some snide remarks concerning the letter. A bunch of girls meet weekly for blissful hour, and he or she and I are each a part of that group. I really feel caught within the center. My husband has had a tough time getting over being mad concerning the indicators, and I do know the HOA member is indignant at him. I simply wish to go to blissful hour and drink and gossip. Why cannot all of us simply get alongside? — IN THE MIDDLE
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: We live in making an attempt instances, and many individuals — your husband included — aren’t their higher selves proper now. The HOA board was fulfilling its obligation to the neighborhood by posting well being and security indicators. They’re meant to coach not solely householders but in addition guests to the constructing, however too usually they have an inclination to develop into like “wallpaper” and are ignored. You aren’t caught within the center. Your husband owes that lady an apology for getting snarky. Nevertheless it in all probability will not occur until you insist upon it. (If it does not, you may all the time do it “for” him the following time you all meet for blissful hour.)
DEAR ABBY: I met a beautiful man who was 14 years older who handled me like I’ve by no means been handled earlier than. He opened doorways for me, took me on precise dates, paid for issues, met all my family and friends, and took me on my first trip at 39 years outdated. He was very cuddly and such a gentleman. He even launched himself as my “boyfriend” to a few of my associates.
Seven months in the past, we had our first argument and he requested me how I felt about him. I stated I cherished him and he returned with, “I like you a large number.” He stated he did not really feel as strongly as I did and does not need a relationship.
After we broke up shortly after, he stated he wished to be associates. However he nonetheless referred to as and invited me over for intercourse frequently for the following six weeks. I used to be very damage, however I lastly reduce ties as a result of emotionally I could not deal with it. He nonetheless needs to be associates however I can’t. He nonetheless will do something for me and needs the advantages of being collectively with out the labels.
It has been greater than two months and I am heartbroken. If I name him, he solutions and talks like we’re one of the best of associates, and it kills me. How do I recover from him? Is it value making an attempt to see if we are going to work out? — BROKEN IN UTAH
DEAR BROKEN: This “gentleman” made clear that his emotions for you aren’t as sturdy as these you’ve gotten for him. You’re concerned with somebody who’s trustworthy about wanting nothing greater than the established order. Should you’re keen to accept being solely FWB — which, I think, you’ve gotten an excessive amount of intelligence and shallowness to do — associate with what he is providing (which could be very little). However for those who do, know full properly that it will not “work out.”
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact her at Pricey Abby, P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069, or go to DearAbby.com.